Servisair Lounge, Edinburgh
	Where's my Bloody Mary?

	Life jacket - check, Seat belt - check, Johnnie Walker - check.
	Ready for take-off. Heathrow, here I come.

	Servisair Lounge, Heathrow.
	Malvern WATER?!!!

	Club sandwich, Vino tinto and Johnnie Walker.
	Kills the time to Barcelona.

	Canudas lounge, Barcelona.
	Veri WATER?!!!

	Ah, Cardinal Mendosa brandy.
	I LIKE Canudas at Barcelona.

	I've got MY luggage.
	Why are we waiting?

	Ibiza arrivals!!

	Habitual first pub. Traditional Irish pub.
	Joe Spoons in the West End, sorry, in 'Up Town' San Antonio.

	You can take the bear out of Glasgow ...['... and the sooner the better']
	... but you can't take the Glasgow out of the bear.

	Then on to Backbeard's.

	Health lifestyle - fresh lime juice ...
	... with crushed ice and Cachaca: Caipirinha.

	... and wait on the balcony for the sunset.

	Then on to Tijuana for a Tex Mex dinner.
	My own lager. My own place setting.

	My own starter.

	My own main course.

	MY shots.

	Later, Garden of Eden.
	before going on to ...

	... Garlands Opening Party at Eden
	A pirate theme this year.

	Catching up with old friends ...

	... and making some 'interesting' new acquaintances.

	The morning after.
	Aspirin, anybody? Some Alka Seltzer? Please?

	Sometime later (pre-sunset).
	A healthy glass of freshly squeezed orange juice ... with ice and a measure of Bacardi.

	Then on to Kasbah for dinner.
	My lager.

	They didn't believe my age ...
	... but my Passport convinced them.

	It took both of them ...
	... to hold me away from that glass of brandy ...

	... but I got it in the end!

	Old friend, new friend.
	Hola Javi. Hola Bea.

	More healthy fresh orange juice ...
	... with, of course, a healthy measure of Bacardi.

	Sun Sea ... but no sunset ...
	... so I can concentrate on my beer and fag.

	Dinner at The Curry Club ...

	... and my shots.

	Fresh lime juice for a healthy, pre-sunset ...
	... Caipirinha.

	Followed by a healthy, pre sunset ...
	... Bacardi and fresh orange.

	Then on to Sun Sea ...

	... for a healthy(?) lager as the sun goes down.

	Hans Steakhouse for dinner

	Medium rare sirloin.

	New friends

	They insisted on proof of age ...
	... before I could have a drink.

	Later, at Viper, ...

	... a Fifer and friend.

	Kasbah cook - fed me well

	Catching rays and chilling

	Caipirinha

	Coastline for the sunset ...

	... and a lager.

	Then, after the usual excellent dinner, ...
	... brandy.

	In the back room at Judgement Sunday at Eden ...
	... I meet my favourite lady. Hi, Amanda.

	Excuse me, do I know these shirts?

	Chilling upstairs ...

	... in my favourite Eden escape ...
	... with a Vodka Bull.

	Cool Tunes

	Cool Vodka Bull

	Cool Moet

	What happened to the rest of Monday?

	A quiet, sunset San Miguel at Mambo

	Then another proof of age check from Scott at Kasbah.

	Worth it though: I got my brandy.

	Sunset at Coastline

	Then on to Es Pi d'Or for dinner.
	Ibiza's finest restaurant.

	Desert: chocolate tarte ...
	... AND baked Alaska.

	Then on to The Cristofol Colom Bar ...
	... for a digistif with Javi and Beatrice.

	Later, at Eden, ...
	... as Dave Pearce plays ...

	... I listen to the cool tunes ...

	... before a couple of dinks.

	Two Vodkas plus two Red Bulls. Four paws.
	Coincidence ... I think not.

	I can't help it ...
	... I have to dance.

	Can I swap shirts: ...
	... this one's making me sick?

	Polar Pete and Stunt Treble join me
	to watch the sunset from the apartment balcony.

	Polar Pete and Stunt Treble do not join me
	for my glass of Cava as the sun goes down.

	Round the corner to Bombadu for Tapas.

	San Miguel for ManumitTed Polar Pete and Stunt Treble

	I direct hunting operations

	Thunderstorm
	Really phat bass and cool lighting effects.

	Fortunately, the storm passes
	in time for my healthy sunset drink ...

	... or even two healthy sunset drinks.

	A towering achievement!

	Dinner at Mon Cheri.
	Merci Renault.

	A slide!

	Wheeeeee ...

	... eeeeeee!

	As Jeremy Paxman would say,
	'Nyeassss, welllll, what can I say?'

	The rocks at Mambo.
	It may not have worked for Canute, ... but the tide had better not come near me.

	Time to go.
	Hasta mas ver Club Paraiso.

	Salidas Evissa.

	This is not quite the seat I booked.

	Servisair Lounge, Heathrow
	Vodka Bull and Bloody Mary!

	British Airways Shuttle meal.
	Good food, well presented and efficiently served. Other airlines please take note!

	At last, Edinburgh.
	I'm back.

Polar Ted's e-mail address is PolarTed@polarted.com